Watchtower April 28 through May 4
[For the opening song before the Public Talk, select the song number announced, on the 'Sing Out Joyfully' Page or click here]
Watchtower Study Article 8 [Press play below to hear the MP3 Watchtower audio]
Song 130 Be Forgiving. Based on Psalm 86.5
1. Lovingly Jehovah
Made provision through his Son
For our sins to be forgiven
And for death to be undone.
If we truly are repentant,
His forgiveness we can claim
On the basis of Christ’s ransom,
Asking pardon in his name.
2. We receive such mercy
When we act like God above
And forgive each other freely,
Showing empathy and love.
Putting up with one another,
Putting hurtfulness away;
Showing honor to our brother,
Showing love’s surpassing way.
3. Mercy is a virtue
That we all should cultivate.
It will keep us from resentment,
From the bitterness of hate.
When we imitate Jehovah,
Who is unsurpassed in love,
We will truly be forgiving;
We will be like God above.
[End of Song. Press Play below to play this song with Audio Description]
Jehovah’s Forgiveness. How Can You Imitate It? (April 28 through May 4)
“Just as Jehovah freely forgave you, you must also do the same.” Colossians 3.13.
[Box] Focus.
This article will discuss practical steps we can take to forgive someone who has offended us. [End of box]
Question 1 and 2a. When may we find it especially difficult to forgive someone?
Question 1 and 2b. How did Denise show forgiveness?
1. Do you find it difficult to forgive others? Many of us do, especially when someone says or does something that hurts us deeply. However, we can overcome our hurt feelings and be forgiving. For example, consider the experience of a sister named Denise,* [Footnote] Some names have been changed. [End of footnote] who showed extraordinary forgiveness. In 2017, Denise and her family had just visited the newly opened World Headquarters of Jehovah’s Witnesses. While they were on their way home, another driver lost control of his car and hit their vehicle. Denise lost consciousness in the accident. When she woke up, she learned that her children were badly injured and that her husband, Brian, had been killed. Reflecting on that moment, Denise says, “I felt broken and confused.” Later, she learned that the driver had not been impaired or distracted, and she prayed to Jehovah for peace.
2. The driver who hit them was charged with manslaughter. If convicted, he could be imprisoned. However, the court informed Denise that the outcome of the man’s sentencing depended on her testimony. Denise says: “I felt as if somebody had cut open my stitches and dumped a gallon of salt in my wound, as I had to relive the worst moments of my life.” Just a few weeks later, Denise sat in a courtroom and prepared to address the man who had caused her family so much pain. What did she say? Denise asked the judge to show mercy to the man.* [Footnote] In such a situation, each Christian must make a personal decision about what action to take. [End of footnote] When she finished speaking, the judge broke down in tears. He said: “In all my 25 years as a judge, I have never heard anything like this in my courtroom. I never hear the victim’s family plead for mercy in behalf of the defendant. I never hear words of love and forgiveness.”
Question 3. What moved Denise to forgive?
3. What helped Denise to be forgiving? She meditated on Jehovah’s forgiveness.
[Quotation] Micah 7.18: Who is a God like you, Pardoning error and passing over the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? He will not hold onto his anger forever, For he delights in loyal love. [End Quotation]
When we appreciate the forgiveness that Jehovah has shown us, we will be motivated to be forgiving toward others.
Question 4. What does Jehovah want us to do? (Ephesians 4.32)
4. Jehovah wants us to forgive others just as freely as he has forgiven us. (Read Ephesians 4.32) He expects us to be ready to forgive those who hurt us.
[Quotation] Psalm 86.5: For you, O Jehovah, are good and ready to forgive; You abound in loyal love for all those who call on you. [End Quotation]
[Quotation] Luke 17.4: Even if he sins seven times a day against you and he comes back to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” [End Quotation]
In this article, we will consider three things that will help us to be more forgiving.
[Read scripture] Ephesians 4.32: But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave you. [End of Read scripture]
Do Not Ignore Your Feelings
Question 5. According to Proverbs 12.18, how might we feel when someone offends us?
5. We may be deeply hurt because of what someone says or does to us, especially if that person is a close friend or family member.
[Quotation] Psalm 55.12 through 14: For it is not an enemy who taunts me; Otherwise I could put up with it. It is not a foe who has risen up against me; Otherwise I could conceal myself from him. 13 But it is you, a man like me, My own companion whom I know well. 14 We used to enjoy a warm friendship together; Into the house of God we used to walk along with the multitude. [End Quotation]
At times, the emotional pain we suffer can be likened to being stabbed. (Read Proverbs 12.18) We may try to suppress or ignore our hurt feelings. But doing so might be like getting stabbed and then leaving the knife in the wound. Similarly, we cannot expect our hurt feelings to get better if we simply ignore them.
[Read scripture] Proverbs 12.18: Thoughtless speech is like the stabs of a sword, But the tongue of the wise is a healing. [End of Read scripture]
Question 6. How may we react when someone offends us?
6. When someone offends us, our initial reaction may be to get angry. The Bible acknowledges that we may become wrathful. However, it warns against allowing that emotion to dominate us.
[Quotation] Psalm 4.4: Be agitated, but do not sin. Have your say in your heart, upon your bed, and keep silent. [End Quotation]
[Quotation] Ephesians 4.26: Be wrathful, but do not sin; do not let the sun set while you are still angry; [End Quotation]
Why? Because our emotions often lead to actions. And anger seldom leads to good results.
[Quotation] James 1.20: for man’s anger does not bring about God’s righteousness. [End Quotation]
Remember, getting angry is a reaction, but remaining angry is a choice.
Blurb: Getting angry is a reaction, but remaining angry is a choice
Question 7. What other feelings might we experience when someone hurts us?
7. When we have been treated badly, we might feel other painful emotions. For example, a sister named Ann says: “When I was a child, my dad left my mom and married my nanny. I felt abandoned. When they had children, I felt replaced. I grew up feeling unwanted.” A sister named Georgette describes how she felt when her husband was unfaithful to her: “We had been friends since childhood. We were pioneer partners! My heart was broken.” And a sister named Naomi says: “I never imagined that my husband would hurt me. So when he confessed that he had been viewing pornography and hiding it from me, I felt deceived and betrayed.”
Two parts: Question 8a. What are some reasons why we should forgive others?
Question 8b. What benefits do we receive when we forgive? (See the box “What if We Have Been Traumatized by Someone?”)
8. We cannot control what others say or do to us, but we can try to control our response. And often the best response is to forgive. Why? Because we love Jehovah, and he wants us to be forgiving. If we remain angry and do not forgive, we are likely to act foolishly and perhaps suffer physically.
[Quotation] Proverbs 14.17: The one who is quick to anger acts foolishly, But the man who thinks things out is hated. [End Quotation]
[Quotation] Proverbs 14.29 and 30: The one who is slow to anger has great discernment, But the impatient one displays his foolishness. 30 A calm heart gives life to the body, But jealousy is rottenness to the bones. [End Quotation]
Note the example of a sister named Christine. She says: “When I am consumed by my hurt feelings, I smile less. I tend to make poor food choices. I don’t get enough sleep, and it’s more difficult to control my emotions, which in turn affects my marriage and my relationships with others.”
[Box]
What if We Have Been Traumatized by Someone? We do well to remember that when we forgive someone, we are not condoning that person’s actions or allowing him to take advantage of us. Instead, we decide to let go of our resentment and anger. In that way, we do not allow the person who caused us trauma to continue to victimize us. By letting go of our resentment, we are really giving ourselves a gift. It allows us to heal and move on with our life. Of course, even when we decide to let go of our resentment and anger, we need never forget that the person is still accountable to Jehovah for what he has done. Thus, in a sense, letting go of our resentment and anger is another way in which we follow the psalmist’s inspired advice: “Throw your burden on Jehovah.”
[Quotation] Psalm 55.22: Throw your burden on Jehovah, And he will sustain you. Never will he allow the righteous one to fall. [End Quotation]
We leave the matter with Jehovah, trusting that he will judge the person who deeply hurt us. And Jehovah judges matters far better than we can. So he will provide a more just outcome than we could ever hope to achieve on our own. [End of box]
Question 9. Why should we let go of resentment?
9. Even if the person who hurt us never takes responsibility for his actions, we can lessen the damage he caused us. How? Georgette, mentioned earlier, says: “It took some time, but I let go of my resentment and anger toward my ex-husband. As a result, I felt immense peace.” When we let go of resentment, we prevent our heart from becoming damaged by bitterness. We also give ourselves a gift, we can start to move on and enjoy our life once again.
[Quotation] Proverbs 11.17: A kind man benefits himself, But the cruel person brings trouble on himself. [End Quotation]
But what if after acknowledging your feelings, you are still not ready to forgive?
Dealing With Your Feelings
Question 10. Why should we allow ourselves time to heal emotionally? (See also pictures)
10. How can you overcome hurt feelings? One way is by giving yourself time to heal. After receiving medical care, a person who has been severely injured needs time to heal physically. In a similar way, we may need time to heal emotionally before we are ready to forgive someone from the heart.
[Quotation] Ecclesiastes 3.3: A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up; [End Quotation]
[Quotation] 1 Peter 1.22: Now that you have purified yourselves by your obedience to the truth with unhypocritical brotherly affection as the result, love one another intensely from the heart. [End Quotation]
[Image Alt:] Collage: An injured brother recovering over time. 1. Paramedics put him in an ambulance. 2. He receives physical therapy to walk again. 3. He walks confidently on his own. Caption: Just as a physical injury requires proper care and time to heal, so does an emotional injury
Question 11. How can prayer help you to be forgiving?
11. Pray, asking Jehovah to help you to be forgiving.* [Footnote] See on jw.org the videos for the original songs “Forgive One Another,” “Forgive Freely,” and “Friends Again.” [End of footnote] Ann, mentioned earlier, explains how prayer helped her. She says: “I asked Jehovah to forgive each of us in the family for things we did not handle well. Then I wrote a letter to my dad and his new wife and told them that I forgave them.” Ann admits that doing so was not easy. But she says: “I hope that by my trying to imitate Jehovah’s forgiveness, my dad and his wife will be moved to learn more about Jehovah.”
Create Positive Feelings
Question 12. Why should we trust Jehovah instead of our feelings? (Proverbs 3.5 and 6)
12. Trust Jehovah, not your feelings. (Read Proverbs 3.5 and 6) Jehovah always knows what is best for us.
[Quotation] Isaiah 55.8 and 9: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, And your ways are not my ways,” declares Jehovah. 9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So my ways are higher than your ways And my thoughts than your thoughts. [End Quotation]
And he will never ask us to do something that will harm us. Thus, when he encourages us to be forgiving, we can be confident that doing so will benefit us.
[Quotation] Psalm 40.4: Happy is the man who trusts in Jehovah And who does not look to the defiant or to those who are false. [End Quotation]
[Quotation] Isaiah 48.17 and 18: This is what Jehovah says, your Repurchaser, the Holy One of Israel: “I, Jehovah, am your God, The One teaching you to benefit yourself, The One guiding you in the way you should walk. 18 If only you would pay attention to my commandments! Then your peace would become just like a river And your righteousness like the waves of the sea. [End Quotation]
On the other hand, if we trust our feelings, we may never be able to forgive.
[Quotation] Proverbs 14.12: There is a way that seems right to a man, But in the end it leads to death. [End Quotation]
[Quotation] Jeremiah 17.9: The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it? [End Quotation]
Naomi, quoted earlier, says: “At first, I felt justified for not forgiving my husband for viewing pornography. I was afraid that he would hurt me again or that he would forget how much damage he caused. And I reasoned that Jehovah understood my feelings. But I began to realize that just because Jehovah understands my feelings, it does not mean that he agrees with them. He knows how I feel and that it takes time to heal, but he also wants me to be forgiving.”* [Footnote] Although viewing pornography is sinful and hurtful, it does not give the innocent mate grounds for a Scriptural divorce. [End of footnote]
[Read scripture] Proverbs 3.5 and 6: Trust in Jehovah with all your heart, And do not rely on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways take notice of him, And he will make your paths straight. [End of Read scripture]
Create Positive Feelings
Question 13. According to Romans 12.18 through 21, what do we need to do?
13. When we forgive someone who hurt us deeply, we want to do more than simply decide not to talk about what happened. If the person who hurt us is also our Christian brother or sister, our goal is to make peace.
[Quotation] Matthew 5.23 and 24: “If, then, you are bringing your gift to the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar, and go away. First make your peace with your brother, and then come back and offer your gift. [End Quotation]
We choose to replace our anger with mercy and our resentment with forgiveness. (Read Romans 12.18 through 21)
[Quotation] 1 Peter 3.9: Do not pay back injury for injury or insult for insult. Instead, repay with a blessing, for you were called to this course, so that you might inherit a blessing. [End Quotation]
What can help us to do that?
[Read scripture] Romans 12.18 through 21: If possible, as far as it depends on you, be peaceable with all men. 19 Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but yield place to the wrath; for it is written: “‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay,’ says Jehovah.” 20 But “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing this you will heap fiery coals on his head.” 21 Do not let yourself be conquered by the evil, but keep conquering the evil with the good. [End of Read scripture]
Question 14. What should we strive to do, and why?
14. We should strive to see the person who offended us as Jehovah does. Jehovah chooses to look for the good in people.
[Quotation] 2 Chronicles 16.9: For the eyes of Jehovah are roving about through all the earth to show his strength in behalf of those whose heart is complete toward him. You have acted foolishly in this matter; from now on there will be wars against you.” [End Quotation]
[Quotation] Psalm 130.3: If errors were what you watch, O Jah, Then who, O Jehovah, could stand? [End Quotation]
We will usually find what we are looking for in people, be it the good or the bad. When we look for the good in others, we will find it easier to forgive them. For example, a brother named Jarrod says, “I find it easier to forgive a brother when I compare his offense to the long list of things that I like about him.”
Question 15. Why may it be helpful to tell someone that you have forgiven him?
15. Another important thing to consider doing is to tell the person that you have forgiven him or her. Why? Note what Naomi, quoted earlier, says: “My husband asked me, ‘Have you forgiven me?’ When I opened my mouth to say, ‘I forgive you,’ I choked. I realized that I hadn’t truly forgiven him in my heart. In time, I was able to express those three powerful words, ‘I forgive you.’ I couldn’t believe the relief it brought to my teary-eyed husband and the closure that I felt. Since then, I have rebuilt my trust in him and we are best friends again.”
Question 16. What have you learned about forgiveness?
16. Jehovah wants us to be forgiving.
[Quotation] Colossians 3.13: Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely even if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Just as Jehovah freely forgave you, you must also do the same. [End Quotation]
Even so, we may struggle to forgive others. But we can do it if we do not ignore our feelings and make the effort to deal with them. Then we can create new, positive feelings. See the box “Three Steps to Forgiveness.”
[Box]
Three Steps to Forgiveness. Do not ignore your feelings. We cannot expect our hurt feelings to get better if we ignore them.
[Image Alt:] A distressed sister gazing out a window.
Deal with your feelings. Give yourself time to heal. Ask Jehovah to help you combat resentment. Trust Jehovah, not your feelings.
[Image Alt:] The sister shown in the previous image, praying fervently.
Create positive feelings. Try to see the person as Jehovah sees him. Ask Jehovah to help you to forgive. Tell the person you have forgiven him. [End of box]
[Image Alt:] The sister and her husband, now happy together.
Question 17. How does being forgiving benefit us?
17. We have many reasons to be forgiving. Consider just some of them. First, we imitate and please our merciful Father, Jehovah.
[Quotation] Luke 6.36: Continue being merciful, just as your Father is merciful. [End Quotation]
Second, we show gratitude for the forgiveness Jehovah has kindly extended to us.
[Quotation] Matthew 6.12: and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. [End Quotation]
And third, we enjoy better health and keep our friendships strong.
Question 18 and 19. What may result from our being forgiving?
18. When we forgive others, we may experience unexpected blessings. For example, note what happened to Denise, mentioned earlier. Although she did not know it at the time, the man who caused the accident planned to end his life after his trial. However, he was so moved by Denise’s forgiveness that he began studying the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses.
19. We may feel that forgiving someone is one of the hardest things we will ever have to do, but it may also be one of the most rewarding.
[Quotation] Matthew 5.7: “Happy are the merciful, since they will be shown mercy. [End Quotation]
Therefore, may we all do our best to imitate Jehovah’s forgiveness.
[Box] When Someone Offends You, ...
why shouldn’t you ignore your feelings?
what can help you deal with your feelings?
how can you create positive feelings? [End of box]
Song 125 “Happy Are the Merciful!” Based on Matthew 5.7
1. Our happy God is merciful,
His mercy not just dutiful.
He takes delight in kindly deeds
And freely grants our daily needs.
Repentant ones can be assured
Their plea for mercy will be heard.
Remembering that we are dust,
He’s merciful and kind and just.
2. When we have sinned and feel distressed,
When God’s forgiveness we request,
Our Lord, Christ Jesus, showed the way
To ask for mercy when we pray.
“Forgive our debts, we beg of you,
As we forgive our debtors too.”
We then can let resentment go,
And peace of mind and heart we’ll know.
3. When gifts of mercy we bestow,
The giving spirit we should show.
We give without desiring praise,
Content with joy our gift conveys.
Then God, who sees all things we do,
Will be the One repaying you.
Yes, happy are the merciful,
In God’s eyes they are beautiful.
[End of Song. Press Play below to play this song with Audio Description]
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